The real gen z aesthetic is having a vague memory of Maisy mouse in the back of your head that you’ve completely forgotten about until you see a picture of her and you’re suddenly teleported back to 1999
Cock is one of my favorite tastes. Not only
that, but balls smell amazing. It makes me go a little crazy on it to be
honest. Like, I cannot get it far enough down my throat to be
satisfied. I’m only satisfied when I feel those intense, powerful,
salty, hot pumps of cum down my throat. When I sit back on my heels,
look up at you with cum all over my mouth and slobber running down my
neck, hair all fucked up and wipe my mouth with the back of my arm and
ask you if I did a good job and you cannot even speak because I’ve
drained all of your energy out the tip of your dick….. That’s when I’m
satisfied.
john green u nasty and ugly as hell shut the fuck up
NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW
10,000 notes, so I guess I should comment.
On tumblr it’s really easy to make it look like people wrote things they did not write. (Needless to say, I did not write the above text.)
I find false attribution annoying in general, but here’s what I find particularly offensive about this post.
I get that I’m not the sort of person who seems likely to register a public comment on the smell of balls, so I understand the joke in associating me with the above text. But there’s something else going on here: The author of this poorly written erotica is trying to shame me by saying that I like to give oral sex to people with penises. But that’s NOT SHAMEFUL–there’s nothing wrong with people who like to give oral sex to people with penises.
So I just want to say to anyone who saw this post and may have felt like their sexuality was being used as a way to humiliate me: I’m not humiliated, and you needn’t be either. The only person who should be embarrassed here is the author, who has a lot to learn about both how to insult someone.
what even are any of these “alternative sites to tumblr in case it dies” everyone’s suggesting like i’ve never heard of any of these in my life do you really expect me to create an account on babar the elephant dot com or some shit and follow you there
i have been in america lately and tried its Various cuisine’s here is my review
wendys
what i had: four for $4 burger and lemonade.
what i thought: this is the same as mcdonalds but there is a smiling girl! the guy who invented wendys was called somethng else so who is wendy. Food apparaition?
rating: 3/5. food was boring but mysterious girl warmed my heart
cook out
what i had: hot dog and shake
what i thought: holy shit. also milkshakes in america are like, solid ice cream. i was expecting nesquik
rating: 5/5. the hot dog was nauseating but cost a dollar and the cashier liked toys
steak n shake
what i had: you can only have burgers and shakes from this restaurant so thats what i got baby!! when in roam!! hasta la vista!!
what i thought: siri didnt know how to get there so we got lost on the highway at 1am. WOOPS!!! thats the american life
rating: 4/5. tasted like i was dying, but pleasantly
cracker barrel
what i had: friday fish fry up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
what i thought: there was lots of old people in this restaurant. the waitress avoided me because my nails were painted. this is a well documented phenomneom but biscuits are definitely something different in this country than my country
rating: 2/5. scary torture cabin
costco
what i had: piza slice
what i thought: i know this isnt technicaly a restaurant but drinks were 50 cents so it gets an honorable mention. there was a crate of mayonnaise but i didnt try that.
rating: ???/5. costcos most precious secrets are lost to us all
chipotle
what i had: burrito. do they make other things?
what i thought: the logo is a chilli pepper but there werent actually any chilli peppers you could have in the food? i enjoyed the dainty red basket
rating: 3/5. guess burritos just always taste good, no matter what theyre made of. i think the chipotle burritos were made using some kind of food product but im not sure.
sonic drive thru
what i had: loaded chilli cheese dog’ fourht of july baby!! happy star wars day
what i thought: very inconceivable. there is a sit in a drive in and a drive thru and the sonic drive thru person comes over to your car in roller skates. its a made up cartoon store. it doesnt exist
rating: 5/5. we spent 20 minutes googling if you tip at sonic and in the end we drove off so my guilt prevents me from assessing it poorly
taco bell
what i had: it only sells tacos in like threes so i got three tacos.
what i thought: its like a dorito with a leaf stapled to it. why is it called taco bell? also, who am i, inside?
rating: 4/5. i flung six tacos in the microwave when we got back and i enjoyed watching them roll over each other playfully – made me think of my childhood and the political conspiracy around my birth.
sheetz
what i had: chicken nuggets at 2am
what i thought: it was interesting that about half of the items on the interactive menu ended with a ‘z’ rather than an s. while that was fun – i would not go so far as to say i died at sheetz but i certainly did not leave it in one piece due to the colossal spinning death blade embedded into the milkshake machine
rating: 5/5. ordering entirely through a little touchpad is a natural progression in a society of unwholesome, evil food production and distribution
my kind or content
Please read this whole thing because it only escalates the food related nonsense
me thinkin abt how perry the platypus is Often referred to as an egg laying mammal, even in his theme song:
Not to forget when Candace was in his body she was able to sweat milk.
considering everyone in the family was totally accepting of the fact he could lay an egg, everyone in the family thus is aware of and loves their trans platypus
There’s also a scene where a professional platypus hunter makes mention of the venomous spurs of the male platypus—as i recall, Doofenshmirtz is surprised, and questions Perry about it, only to get a shrug in response and no indication that Perry has spurs in the first place….
androidboy 