phaygo:

miseryofmillions:

i know the “ok tumblr children please here are the rules to twitter and please behave” posts are so patronizing and dumb but some of you NEED to know that your likes are public

everyone remembers ted cruz liking MILF porn on the anniversary of 9/11 so this post is pointless

imsuchacapricorn:

toboldlylesbian:

marisatomay:

toboldlylesbian:

pick your fighter

the ‘$1000 to go to Hawaii’ bride, the ‘I bought a $99 polygraph on amazon’ lady, or the ‘why was $200 so huge’ birthday girl

a lot of people seem to be confused and think the hawaii bride and the polygraph lady are the same but they’re actually 2 separate people so here’s all 3 in one go

the “$1500 to go to hawaii” bride

Ms Polygraph Test

$200 birthday

bask in the unfiltered nonsense of it all

since someone mentioned this and I had forgotten, a last minute entry fighter: “Squire Sebastian” lady

New to the arena, Kristie and her surprise wedding

hotmeat89:

deactivating my bones tonight for a little blob action

butt-joint:

if she’s your girl then why’d she tranq me tag my ear then release me back for scientific observation

goth-shitposts:

no growing out of your goth phase, we die like edgelords

dirtgirl1999:

i don’t want to see anyone be sexy anymore. tired of it. bored. have sex or wahtevr i don’t care just stop being sexy … it’s been done to death.. at least like spill some juice on ur jeans or somethin so i can relate 2 u… make that face that is like “this baby carrot that i’m eating isn’t like sweet it is instead that weird boring carrot flavor” it looks like this : but with bigger cheeks because u are eating the carrot anyways because you don’t want to waste it. UGH . hello ? i am typing on my keyboard to you. can you hear me ? 

slimetony:

While you were all busy having “funerals” and getting cremated I was decomposing in the woods behind a cracker barrel off the highway

infomercial:

infomercial:

ima miss the tiddies not even in a horny way they’re just nice to look at